One orange dot is slightly larger than the other. Kids know- Parents don't.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
AP- Goodbye Jobs, Hello Mom & Dad
Nearly 1 in 7 parents with grown children say they had a "boomerang kid" move back home in the past year, according to a study released Tuesday by the Pew Research Center.
Read entire story:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/ap_on_go_ot/us_boomerang_kids
Read entire story:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/ap_on_go_ot/us_boomerang_kids
Friday, November 13, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Chores vs. no chores-Finding a relative solution to the argument
Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that a conversation about chores, allowances and my children would cause a rift with my own sister.
After all, we were raised together by the same parents in the same house with the same expectations. From a young age, my parents were insistent that we pick up after ourselves, and as we grew older our list of duties around the house grew, too.
At the end of each week, if we kept up with most of what was supposed to have been done without any major drama, we received a nod from our mom and our dad distributed age-appropriate allowances. I was 5 years older than my youngest sibling, so cleaning the entire kitchen after dinner carried a little more weight than picking up Hot Wheels cars.
That's why I was surprised last week by my sister's criticism on how I was raising my children.
We were shopping together when my youngest asked if she could have the most amazing toy-she-couldn't-live-without. I told her she didn't have enough money, but that she could do some extra chores at home and we could come back when she'd earned enough to pay for it.
My sister was appalled. She couldn't believe that I hadn't "broken the cycle." She would never burden her children with lessons about household chores. The house is her job just like school is theirs.
According to her, between schoolwork, learning to deal with social situations and their many extracurricular involvements, children have very little "down" time. And as long as her kids' wants aren't extravagant, they often get it without consequence.
Hmmmm.
I'll admit that I never gave this much thought. Picking up toys, taking dishes to the sink and making your bed seems like common sense to me. My sister agrees, but calls it common courtesy. She expects her children to do those things and they do them just as mine do - most of the time.
She disagrees with chores like sweeping, loading the dishwasher and lawn work. Her 14-year-old has never been asked nor volunteered to do any of those things. She says chores should be linked to being a good citizen, rather than being an employee of the household.
So I asked, "What will he do when he gets out on his own and doesn't know how to do things for himself?" She just laughed and said, "He'll learn."
My argument is that children today are all about instant gratification and too many parents don't give their children enough responsibility. I see parents, like my sister, reach into their pockets, or choose not to, when their kids ask for something. The problem with that, in my opinion, is that there's no real accountability.
I have no doubt that household chores teach basic discipline. They teach responsibility, time management and the skills to start, work at and complete a job. My kids are money-motivated, and I like the idea that they're in charge of their own money. They get a huge sense of accomplishment when they make it last or make a large purchase on their own.
After talking with my sister (and others too), I've realized that this conversation is about two different issues. Families have different philosophies about allowances and chores, and many do not confuse the two.
I'm just surprised that my sister is against both, and that I've never given thought to doing things any differently. We both gave each other pause for thought, and I'll just keep my fingers crossed my kids are never roommates with hers.
After all, we were raised together by the same parents in the same house with the same expectations. From a young age, my parents were insistent that we pick up after ourselves, and as we grew older our list of duties around the house grew, too.
At the end of each week, if we kept up with most of what was supposed to have been done without any major drama, we received a nod from our mom and our dad distributed age-appropriate allowances. I was 5 years older than my youngest sibling, so cleaning the entire kitchen after dinner carried a little more weight than picking up Hot Wheels cars.
That's why I was surprised last week by my sister's criticism on how I was raising my children.
We were shopping together when my youngest asked if she could have the most amazing toy-she-couldn't-live-without. I told her she didn't have enough money, but that she could do some extra chores at home and we could come back when she'd earned enough to pay for it.
My sister was appalled. She couldn't believe that I hadn't "broken the cycle." She would never burden her children with lessons about household chores. The house is her job just like school is theirs.
According to her, between schoolwork, learning to deal with social situations and their many extracurricular involvements, children have very little "down" time. And as long as her kids' wants aren't extravagant, they often get it without consequence.
Hmmmm.
I'll admit that I never gave this much thought. Picking up toys, taking dishes to the sink and making your bed seems like common sense to me. My sister agrees, but calls it common courtesy. She expects her children to do those things and they do them just as mine do - most of the time.
She disagrees with chores like sweeping, loading the dishwasher and lawn work. Her 14-year-old has never been asked nor volunteered to do any of those things. She says chores should be linked to being a good citizen, rather than being an employee of the household.
So I asked, "What will he do when he gets out on his own and doesn't know how to do things for himself?" She just laughed and said, "He'll learn."
My argument is that children today are all about instant gratification and too many parents don't give their children enough responsibility. I see parents, like my sister, reach into their pockets, or choose not to, when their kids ask for something. The problem with that, in my opinion, is that there's no real accountability.
I have no doubt that household chores teach basic discipline. They teach responsibility, time management and the skills to start, work at and complete a job. My kids are money-motivated, and I like the idea that they're in charge of their own money. They get a huge sense of accomplishment when they make it last or make a large purchase on their own.
After talking with my sister (and others too), I've realized that this conversation is about two different issues. Families have different philosophies about allowances and chores, and many do not confuse the two.
I'm just surprised that my sister is against both, and that I've never given thought to doing things any differently. We both gave each other pause for thought, and I'll just keep my fingers crossed my kids are never roommates with hers.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
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